Curious Cheetah


Good Men Project (Ethics)

GMP Author Page -- Alphabetize -- Sort by date -- Manhood -- Race/BLM -- Education -- Parenting
5 Life Lessons from the Rubik's Cube (Sep 25, 2016)
In the Cube and in life, we want order. Paul Hartzer offers a glimpse at solutions to both. Five lessons about mathematics and life that are represented by the Rubik's Cube.
A Eulogy for Porn (Dec 4, 2017)
One moment in an alleyway fossilized my perspective for decades. I reflect on my personal history with pornography.
Beyond "It was Just a Joke": Denial of the Obvious as a Distraction Technique (Jul 31, 2016)
The struggle to get certain men to take responsibility for their own inappropriate actions, as demonstrated by Scott Baio. Scott Baio's feigned obliviousness over the offensiveness of the Clinton meme he shared exemplifies a general strategy of dodging responsibility for inappropriate behavior.
Breaking Through Our Golems (Nov 19, 2018)
Before we can find common ground, we need to listen to each other. Do we talk to each other, or do we talk to our projections of ourselves?
Bullies Playing the Victim (Feb 19, 2017)
A false equivalence between Betsy DeVos and Ruby Bridges supports a disturbing worldview. My commentary on the Betsy DeVos cartoon that dares to pretend that she has anything all in common with Ruby Bridges.
Cognitive Dissonance: Why Political Discussions Turn Nasty (Aug 28, 2016)
There’s a reason there are rules about not talking politics and religion in mixed gatherings. Cognitive Dissonance and the two-party system create a dangerous psychological cocktail.
Defending Truth: Winning the War on Fact (Jan 29, 2017)
Lies, errors, communal fictions, and other falsehoods We are not "post-truth": We must defend truth against those who try to convnce us otherwise.
Dr. Seuss and Cultural Sensitivity (Mar 4, 2019)
What do we do when our cultural icons are problematic? The Cat in the Hat is based on a blackface minstrel. So what to do?
Enough is Enough: The Hoarding of the Ultrarich (Jul 17, 2017)
Whether it's taro roots or cold hard cash, the patriarchs cling to pointless amounts of wealth. I examine the demographics of the country's billionaires.
Fat Jokes about People We Dislike are Still Fat Jokes (Jul 10, 2017)
Sizeist and other ableist humor reinforce our cultural values. Are these values we want? Chris Christie's weight is irrelevant to his abuses of power.
Four Reasons Why LaVar Ball Isn't Giving Thanks (Nov 23, 2017)
We should be spending less time trying to get LaVar Ball to say “thank you” and much more time trying to figure out why he won’t. LaVar Ball would rather troll Trump than say two words. Good for him.
Halloween Candy and Socialism (Nov 6, 2017)
It took seeing the world from the other side to realize how selfish I was being in my generosity. Before criticizing kids for being in the wrong neighborhood, think about why you're giving out candy in the first place.
How I Lost My Voice (Dec 17, 2018)
... and how I'll find it again. I am a white American man. That reality shapes my experiences, and it shapes how people interact with me.
How I Overcame the Christmas Blues (Dec 25, 2017)
While I still struggle with my moods during this time of year, the depression and resentment aren’t as deep as they used to be. I'm not a fan of "it gets better"; instead, I'll say: It got better for me.
How to Be Respectful of a Trans Person (Apr 2, 2018)
You don’t need to understand what it’s like to be transgender to be respectful of a person’s identity. You just need to be respectful of a person.
Impact > Intent (Jun 3, 2019)
We rush to defend our intent. Why that's misguided. Impact is always greater than intent.
It's Time to Retire the "Good Guy" Narrative (Mar 5, 2018)
We can't truly tell a good guy from a bad guy until they fire their gun. The world is more complex than tired cliches.
It’s Way Too Late to Non-Apologize, Donald (Oct 9, 2016)
Mr. Trump consistently represents the antithesis of what The Good Men Project represents. Even if Mr. Trump loses, we need to keep the larger conversation going: Where are we as a culture that such a toxic male stands as the preferred representative of a significant population of our country?
Keeping an Eye out for Ableism (Jul 24, 2017)
Our limitations can affect us less than how others judge us for those limitations. I struggle more with social acceptance of my eye than with my eye itself.
Law and Order: Special Criminals Unit (Oct 8, 2018)
In the criminal justice system, the people are betrayed by two separate yet equally important groups. Two high-profile stories reinforce: If you're a judge or a police officer, you don't get the same treatment as everyone else.
Losing the Sense of Decency (Aug 7, 2016)
Welch’s attack on McCarthy and its modern relevance. Welch's confrontation of McCarthy changed the inertia during a dark time in the United States, and is similar to the altercation between Khan and Trump.
Lucy’s Football ‘Joke’ and the Problem of Bullying (Oct 30, 2017)
Let’s review the narrative we’re giving our youth about bullying. Bullying is wrong. Every time. Every age. Every situation.
Make Americans Great Again (Dec 18, 2016)
Stop looking for heroes to save us: We need to save ourselves. Our American activism has a cycle tied to elections. Be focused all the time, not just every two years.
No More Bully for You: Refocusing the Conversation on Behaviors, not Labels (Oct 2, 2016)
What happens when we discuss a person's words and actions instead of whether that person fits a label? Too many conversations get tied up in "I'm not a bully" or "That wasn't racist". If we want behaviors to change, let's focus on behaviors, not labels.
Not Ready to Make Nice (Nov 27, 2016)
We must stand firm. This does not mean meeting hate with hate: It means meeting callousness with confidence and strength of spirit. Unifying and "going high" should not mean exposing ourselves for yet more abuse.
Peter Tork and the Box We Can't Escape (Feb 25, 2019)
Perhaps we focus on too much on getting out of our boxes. A reflection upon the passing of Peter Tork (1942-2019).
Social Anxiety and the Highly Sensitive Person: A Reflection (Jan 8, 2017)
Mental health challenges carry a stigma, particularly among men. Paul Hartzer shares his experiences. Personal reflections on social anxiety disorder.
Suicide is Pointless (May 14, 2017)
Let's skip the palliative clichés. Depression sucks bigtime. Try to survive. I don't want to diminish the sincere efforts of caring people, but depression is a complicated beast that often resists simple answers.
The Fatigue Strategy (Mar 20, 2019)
As long as we argue the wetness of water, we won’t progress. The Fatigue Strategy: Make people explain the obvious so repeatedly that they give up and can’t address any deeper issues.
The Fine Art of Resurfacing (Apr 1, 2019)
I am who I am: Let this be my starting point. The essays I most enjoy writing are the ones about my own place in the world.
The Girl in the Pink Fuzzy Sweater (Feb 12, 2018)
How does anxiety color our memories? A middle school encounter shapes my identity, and fears.
The Only Way Out is Through (Jan 1, 2018)
Keep working at it. Climb the mountains. There are no cheap paths out. I reflect on my goal for the new year: Stop looking for shortcuts.
The Privilege of Civility (Oct 29, 2018)
There is a fine line between finding common ground and finding ourselves underground. It's easy to insist on politesse when your life isn't literally on the line.
The Privilege of Not Discussing Privilege: How the Hypersensitive Invoke an Oppressive Past to Justify Themselves (Aug 13, 2016)
In a fair world, the right to offend others comes with the obligation to suffer offense. The "anti-PC" crowd want the right to offend others with impunity, but are very thin-skinned themselves.
Twelve Reasons Not to Give Guns to Teachers (Feb 26, 2018)
Why is this even a serious discussion? Don't arm teachers. Don't arm teachers. Don't. Arm. Teachers.
Uniting Against Milo: How to Practice Empathy Across the Political Spectrum (Feb 26, 2017)
It is not about political disagreement. It is about wanting to minimize the amount of hatred deliberately spread in the world. We don't have the same lines, but we all have lines. Let's come together on that realization.
Using Privilege as Opportunity, Recognizing Privilege as Default (Dec 25, 2016)
The concept of 'privilege' is misunderstood as being entirely about wealth. It's more complicated than that. I discuss two main parameters of privilege, other than wealth.
Venomous Snakes and Turd-Filled Candy (Nov 20, 2017)
Comparing the fear faced by women and people of color about white men to white men's fear of terrorists and transgender people is openly dishonest. Ali's Snakes and Trump's Skittles are not the same.
Waters, Washington, and Civility (Jul 9, 2018)
One of our most beloved stories of war is Washington refusing to give a break to his enemy. Civility in politics is enforced when it's convenient for the uncivil.
What Giving Felons the Right to Vote Says About Us (Apr 29, 2019)
The Myth of Meritocracy doesn't just lie to us about successes, it also lies about why people fail. Bernie Sanders thinks all citizens should have the right to vote. Why don't they?
Why Do We Romanticize Pirates? (Sep 17, 2018)
It's time for "Talk Like a Pirate Day." Is this a good thing? Pirates are criminals, not fun-loving rogues.
Why We're all Fragile Snowflakes (Jul 3, 2017)
When we live in echo chambers, only our outrage leaks out. Your "justified umbrage" is someone else's "oversensitive whining."